It's been six days since I had surgery and I've had a lot of time on my hands to think, so I wanted to document this event, and how it relates to Miss Avery. A little background first. My surgery was to correct severe diastasis (separation of the abdominal walls from pregnancy), as well as a large hernia sac above my belly button, and another umbilical hernia. And I decided to throw on a tubal ligation just in case the other stuff wasn't painful enough. Since I had Avery, I've felt like my organs were being pushed forward, through my abs, and I was precisely right. After learning it was a hernia and diastasis, I tried to do exercises to "flatten" it out, but quickly found out that was not only pointless, but making it worse. The only answer would be surgery, unless I wanted to live with it inevitably getting worse. In many cases, it doesn't require treatment, but mine was pretty bad, and left untreated, could eventually strangulate, and also leave me looking 5 months pregnant for the rest of my life. And my surgeon (who I love, despite his blunt and dry humor while referring to your body) pretty much summed it up when I asked him what stage of diastasis I had and he replied, "you're beyond stages." and "I've seen women with twins who don't look this bad." It was a big decision to make, being that I'm kept very busy by two little girls, John doesn't have a lot of time off, and the recovery is pretty annoying (no lifting for 6 weeks, no driving for 3, etc.). But, thanks to my incredible family, who are taking time out of their lives to help, I could get it out of the way. My biggest worry was Avery having a shunt malfunction or eye issue in the midst of all of this. I hold my breath each morning as I listen to her on the monitor, willing her to be okay. Sounds crazy, but all the hydro moms will relate.
Before this surgery, I had gone through two c-sections, which in my opinion, were a breeze. I thought my tolerance for pain was super high, so I got cocky, didn't really take the warnings about this one seriously, and I assumed everyone telling me that it would be far worse than a c-section was just a wuss. Well, it turns out, I'm not so tough after all. That hurt like hell, and I humbly admit that I am the wuss. I have handed my daughter over to surgeons time and time again, and when I hold her afterward, I can only imagine how much pain she's in. My respect and awe for Avery is at an all-time high, knowing now, firsthand, what the body goes through after anesthesia and major surgery. And my surgery wasn't even earth-shattering - it wasn't nearly as serious as Avery's brain surgeries, or as delicate as her eye surgeries. It wasn't like many other people's, which are accompanied by a horrible diagnosis, or necessary to save their life. But I've experienced something vaguely similar to what my child has gone through, and I have so much more admiration for her resilience and strength. I also have so much more respect for everyone who goes through worse. I saw a woman in the pre-op waiting room who had cancer, and I assume was there for surgery related to that. She looked so nervous, and her husband had his arms around her while they waited to be called back. That will surely remind you to keep your perspective and be grateful for why you are sitting in that waiting room. I also saw another patient, about 2 years old, and was reminded to be thankful that we weren't there for Avery this time. She was home with Papa, doing great and healthy. You get pretty sappy when you're about to go through something like this.
One of the biggest cautions I got about this procedure (after the pain!) was about the large scar I would have afterward. Sure, I can see how this would be disheartening to some women, who wear bikinis on a regular basis and who have never gone through anything traumatic before. The scar to me is not a bad thing. It's another souvenir from having two wonderful, amazing little girls, and a reminder that while pregnancy does a number on your body, I was lucky it could be fixed. When I brush Avery's hair or give her a bath, I see many scars on her little body. What kind of mom would I be if I treated scars as something ugly or bad? They are part of her journey, as this one is now part of mine. So while I appreciate their warning, it's the least of my worries. I was much more worried about not being able to hold my babies for six weeks, not pull my weight around the house, and having to give into the help of others while I get back to normal. But as I've been reminded by many this last week, in the grand scheme of things, six weeks isn't a big deal.
This week has been difficult physically, but it's also been the most productive week I've had in awhile. It's amazing how much you can accomplish with an ipad, a cell phone, and no kids hanging from your legs! I've gotten a ton of prepping and planning done for my sister-in-law's upcoming wedding, and I answered emails and calls that had been put on the back burner. And, although late to the game, I finally learned what all the fuss is about Pinterest! That force will pull you in for hours if you don't have anything else to do but lay in bed. To wrap up, here are some other things I've learned this past week:
1. You (unfortunately) use your core for everything...
2. Including laughing, so don't watch an Office marathon while recovering from ab surgery.
3. A shower is an amazing treat that shouldn't be taken for granted!
4. Percocet is not all it's cracked up to be. I'd make a horrible drug addict.
5. If someone told us how real our marriage vows would be; "In sickness and in health," John may have fled the scene.
6. As I've noted above, Pinterest is highly addictive. Much more addictive than Percocet.
7. I don't need to leave the house to incur damage to my bank account. It's worse, even.
8. Ten minutes of sunshine can turn your mood completely around.
9. I cannot comfortably sleep propped up against 3 pillows, on my back, for longer than one hour.
10. I married the most incredibly generous, caring, loving, selfless man on the planet. He's been the best nurse anyone could ask for, and I couldn't have done this without him.
11. Avery is the toughest girl I know, so much tougher than I, and I'll never forget that!
12. Being superstitious isn't crazy. This one is for us to remember when we're reading this years from now and recall the freaky things that happened during our journey with Avery ... We learned in the week before Lucy was born, that Avery's medical issues can pop up and scare us during the worst possible times. So my worry before this surgery was very much warranted. I got so paranoid after that time, that I insist on two, superstitious things - always keeping Avery's "barf bucket" in her room, because the day we take it out, she'll get sick. It's been behind her bed (clean) for eight months. The other thing is I have to have Avery's video monitor next to me while I sleep. The only two times I didn't have it in the last 6 months, she barfed in the middle of the night. While it didn't turn out to be shunt-related, it is still a scare. Whether you call it Murphy's Law or superstition, I'm sticking to these two things. Because... the night after my surgery, when I was a complete invalid, John was so busy he forgot to turn the monitor on. And what happened? Avery puked in the middle of the night and we spent a few hours that morning wondering if it was her shunt. So I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious :) (Michael Scott, The Office... I've been watching a marathon, ya know.)
